What would the world look like if we all worked together and supported one another? It would probably look a bit like jesscaire.com. The world according to Jess Caire is inspired by a future in which her two children are judged not on their gender, but on how hard they work, their values and beliefs. Society has evolved ideals to which we’re supposed to aspire, whether we like it or not. However, as a self-confessed “over-achieving people pleaser”, Jess found that she had to let go of these impossible expectations she’d set for herself when she became a mother. Believing that she couldn’t be the only woman struggling as she was, she began to share her vulnerability online, attaching to it a sense of worth rather than a sense of shame. Her community is about empowering women, getting them to believe in themselves and each other, because only by working together can we break down gender barriers and create a unified response.
In today’s episode of Be The Drop, Jess talks openly about her own emotional journey from feeling failure to empowerment, reveals how she deals with trolls, plus the importance of building a safe space in order to encourage communication…
Keep it real.
Jess made a promise to herself to live outside of her comfort zone when she started building her community. She admits that, even though being vulnerable is scary, it’s super powerful because it allows us to start a conversation instead of pretending everything’s ok when it’s not. She explains that women think they’re meant to be able to “do it all” when actually “perfect” isn’t real. The moment Jess let go of the image she thought she had to project to the world, her relationships deepened, her self-worth and confidence went through the roof, and her connection with her community skyrocketed.
jesscaire.com is about authenticity, real stories, real life. It’s a safe space for everyone to be who they are. Jess is inspired by so many women every day that she meets face to face, in meetings, speaks to on the telephone or through Facebook, and we all look at others and wonder how they’re doing what they’re doing. So jesscaire.com gives people those insights by encouraging the sharing of open and honest real life stories.
Listen to Jess’s Be The Drop podcast episode here:
Non-judgement encourages sharing.
Conversations with Jess is a section of the website where she interviews real women who share their stories about motherhood, work, life etc. These women share their challenges, but they also reveal what they’ve done to get through them, their coping mechanisms. It’s tough getting people to open up and be vulnerable, so it’s essential to Jess’ community that it’s a place of non-judgement. We’re all different, she explains, but we can embrace our uniqueness and each bring something to the conversation in a non-judgemental way. Jess has blocked Facebook users and deleted comments when they’re clearly derogatory and at odds with the safe supportive nature of the community; everyone is entitled to their opinions and comments, but they must be able to share them in a mature way, she says. This comes back to that role modelling aspect to her community, which stems from thoughts of her children and the world she wants them to live in. The future Jess wants to create can be glimpsed in the statement, Her success is not your failure. We’re all doing the best we can, as mothers, sisters, wives, daughters; let’s raise each other up, not pull each other down.
Be strong, be brave and embrace your vulnerability. The world needs to know what you’ve got.
Build your squad.
Ask yourself, who’s in your squad? According to Jess, your squad should be made up of the people around you that want you to be the best version of yourself. They’re your support network. There’ll always be those that zap your energy or don’t put back in what they take out of the relationship, so be aware of that and stack your squad accordingly. You don’t need to lose anyone as a friend, but maybe don’t invest your stories, your secrets, your ideas for life in the people who aren’t backing team YOU. Good advice!
Thank you again for tuning in and listening to the BTD podcast, I can’t wait for the next installment to bring you more inspiring people talking about their strategies for connecting with and building a positive community.
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